Scottie Scheffler gets another jacket, Rory McIlroy gets a song, and a buzzed golfer qualifies for a PGA Tour event

Welcome to another edition of The Grind, where we are happy to report that something good has come out of Rory McIlroy’s U.S. Open collapse. The great Ben Rector wrote a beautiful song for Rory, and it’s an absolute must listen:

Damn, that’s good. I could have used this when I was in my own major drought in the HGGA Championship, AKA my annual buddies trip. Good thing it’s been “We are the Champions” playing on repeat the past couple years. Anyway, Ben added that he’s gotten such a strong reaction to the clip that he’s going to turn it into a full song, so be on the lookout for that. In the meantime, here’s what else in golf has us talking.

WE’RE BUYING

Scottie Scheffler: This is getting ridiculous—at least for idiots (Hand up!) who continue to bet against Scottie. The guy wins every week! And he actually wins every PGA Tour signature event. After winning the Travelers Championship, that’s five consecutive wins in these elite events. The only one since March that he didn’t win was the only one he didn’t play in, the Wells Fargo Championship (You’re welcome, Rory). Just call him Scottie Signature.

The guy even got another jacket! He’s going to run out of room in his closet! That’s six wins before July, making Scheffler the first player to pull that off on the PGA Tour since Arnold Palmer in 1962. And once again, it was a family affair for the Schefflers:

At this rate, Bennett is going to crush Dash Day’s unofficial record for the most 18th hole celebrations by a PGA Tour winner’s kid . . . before he gets to pre-school.

Amy Yang: AT LONG LAST! Amy Yang is a major champ. Sorry, I just love that Jim Nantz call so much. But it’s appropriate here as the 34-year-old Korean was nearly the same age that Phil Mickelson finally won his maiden major. For someone who has spent more than half of her life on the LPGA, we can’t imagine how good getting sprayed with champagne felt after capturing the KPMG Women’s PGA at Sahalee:

And even better was this reaction from Yang after finding out she made the South Korean Olympic golf team on live TV:

Good for you, Amy.

Tom Kim: I wasn’t wild about him constantly yucking it up with Scottie down the stretch at TPC River Highlands—I get it, they’re BFFs and they share the same birthday, but this is supposed to be a big-time serious golf tournament—but it certainly didn’t hurt his play. That birdie on the 72nd hole, especially after that chaotic delay from the protesters—and with their paint all over the green!—was mighty impressive.

Tom turned 22 on Friday and celebrated with some pizza. And while he remains stuck on three PGA Tour titles, being stuck on that number at such a young age is obviously pretty special.

WE’RE SELLING

Tom Kim’s pace of play: Let’s just say Thomas the train is certainly not an express train. I love Tom Kim and I want him to be the GLOBAL SUPERSTAR “Full Swing” made him out to be, but this won’t help.

Even my six-year-old blurted out, “Just shoot already!” as soon as she saw him. Tom, we want to GROW the game, not SLOW the game.

Overdoing the Scottie-Tiger comps: Like this one:

Those are amazing numbers. And I’ve been all about Scottie’s historical run. And we are certainly witnessing all-time greatness. But now that he’s actually getting this close to my guy Tiger, it’s time to face facts a little. You’re in denial if you think the LIV situation hasn’t at least played a small role in Scheffler’s utter dominance. Especially with any OWGR-related stats, because the LIV guys don't get any world ranking points. More importantly, however, between Bryson DeChambeau, Jon Rahm, Brooks Koepka, Cameron Smith and Tyrrell Hatton, who won the LIV Golf Nashville event on Sunday, you don’t think any of those guys could have picked off one of these recent signature events? Well, maybe not Brooks because he’s so into his Ps winning the Stanley Cup.

But you get the point. Sorry to drizzle just a little on the Scottie parade, but Talor Gooch had a point about there being an asterisk for some events—just not because of Talor Gooch.

This gator: Here’s a pretty terrifying sight to see on the golf course:

This must be what PGA Tour pros feel like watching Scottie Scheffler at a signature event.

ON TAP

The PGA Tour heads to the Motor City for the Rocket Mortgage Classic, AKA that one in Detroit that Scottie Scheffler will NOT win. Why? Because the World No. 1 is taking a few weeks off before the Scottish and British Opens. So to the rest of the PGA Tour, this is your time to shine! And to frustrated golf gamblers out there, this is your time to finally hit an outright winner! So I’m betting on a few longshots this week. Speaking of longshots, shout-out to Nick Bienz, a Golf Galaxy employee who Monday qualified for the event in a playoff—after drinking three beers. Ryan French, AKA Monday Q Info, had this awesome story:

What a legend. Although, as Golf Digest has shown with a couple different “experiments” through the years, a couple of drinks can really loosen up that golf swing. Just saying. Anyway, good luck to Nick this week.

Random tournament fact: Rickie Fowler is the defending champ, and his victory made for one of the best stories of 2023. Also a fact? Scottie Scheffler has bettered Fowler’s entire CAREER in just the past three-plus months. And Rickie’s had a nice career! Just crazy stuff.

RANDOM PROP BETS OF THE WEEK

—Any of my longshots will win this week: 1 MILLION-to-1 odds

—Tom Kim will win this week: 12-to-1 odds (Favorite!)

—Tom Kim will be put on the clock again this week: LOCK

TWEET OF THE WEEK

Gamblers betting against Scottie feel the same way, Matt.

PHOTO OF THE WEEK

First off, congrats to Met legend and fellow Wake Forest Demon Deacon Cameron Young on shooting 59! But that yellow “Preferred Lies” sticker is tough. Can we get that off before the scorecard gets displayed in the World Golf Hall of Fame?

VIRAL VIDEO OF THE WEEK (PUTT DIVISION)

Two weeks after the U.S. Open, this guy made his own memorable putt at Pinehurst No. 2:

We’re guessing he and his buddies had a few celebratory pops after that one.

VIRAL VIDEO OF THE WEEK (TRICK-SHOT PUTT DIVISION)

But when it comes to long putts, nothing has ever topped what Wesley Bryan pulled off. Check out this effort from 144 yards. Yes, YARDS:

Amazing. That’s even longer than the hole-in-one I made at Oak Hill a couple weeks back! (Hey, I made it pretty long before mentioning it this time!)

THIS WEEK IN PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION

Here’s Scottie Scheffler signing some autographs—and sharing his birthday cake with fans:

What a swell guy. Just don’t ask him to sign a Boston Celtics hat. That’s messed up.

THIS WEEK IN PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION AGGRESSION

How about this golf club ransom note from a wife to her husband?

Oh, man, I don’t want my wife getting any ideas!

THIS WEEK IN CELEBRITY GOLFERS

Good for you, Jayson. They’re not calling you “MVP,” but good for you. Sorry, couldn't resist. And you're lucky the Knicks weren't healthy for the playoffs!

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

“I mean, I was scared for my life. I didn't even really know what was happening. All of a sudden, four, five people come out running on the green. Yeah, I mean, it was kind of weird. But thankfully the cops were there and kept us safe, because that's, you know, that's just weird stuff.” —Akshay Bhatia on that crazy scene on 18 on Sunday. I saw people snickering about this reaction, but I’m sure it was pretty scary in the moment.

THIS AND THAT

Dustin Johnson beat exactly one player in the LIV Golf Nashville event. To be fair, though, DJ also celebrated his 40th birthday on Saturday. . . . Congrats to Guido Migliozzi on winning his fourth career DP World Tour title at the KLM Open. No doubt, one of the best names in golf. . . . Congrats to Nelly Korda, Lilia Vu and Rose Zhang for making Team USA’s Olympic women’s golf team. Hopefully, Nelly will be over her little slump by the time she gets to Paris. . . . And, finally, congrats to my Julia and the rest of her castmates on a terrific production of “Annie”:

To Rory and others out there struggling right now, just remember that the sun will come out tomorrow!

RANDOM QUESTIONS TO PONDER

What’s the best musical of all time?

What’s the longest I could get away with not mowing the lawn?

Can Ben Rector write a song about my hole-in-one?