If it feels like the Masters just happened, well, that's because it did. Just five months ago in fact. But don't let the quick turnaround dampen your enthusiasm: This week, the Masters returns to its RIGHTFUL place on the calendar, and, despite the pollen count, that is cause for celebration. Sure, sure, the November Masters was a nice detour, but this is The Tradition Unlike Any Other just as your God intended it, and if that doesn't call for a drink, then what does?
Sip . . .
- Every time CBS show gratuitous azalea shots.
- Every time there's an eagle.
- Every time the limited fans thing comes up.
- If they mention the potential changes on 13.
- For every ball dunked in Raes Creek.
- For every reference to “ballspeed.”
- Every time you see someone wearing their mask below their nose.
Drink for three seconds . . .
- In remembrance of every discarded pimento cheese sandwich.
- For every former champion who withdrew due to COVID-19.
- For every former champion eliminated by the new 50-man cut line.
- For any generic rules controversy (finish your drink if it’s Patrick Reed).
- When you see the first spring lawn care commercial.
- Whenever the “Sub-Air” system is mentioned like it’s something people actually care about.
- For any 2020 Dustin Johnson highlight package.
- Any time Jim Nantz says “Hello friends”
Finish your drink . . .
- If Nick Faldo puts his mask on upside down.
- If Bryson namechecks Nikola Tesla or another great scientific mind.
- If there's a hole in one.
- If Augusta chairman Fred Ridley thanks Mother Nature during the green jacket ceremony.
- If they show Jordan Spieth’s 2016 12th-hole meltdown (we're buying, Jordan).
- If Jordan Spieth wins (you're buying, Jordan)
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