Rejoice, golf fans of earth. After months of finger nail-shredding anticipation, it is finally time for the first-ever Rocket Mortgage Classic, yet another iconic installment in the long, proud history of ridiculous PGA Tour tourney names. Next to college football bowl season and the [checks notes] Monster Energy NASCAR Cup Series, there's no greater collision of unabashed branding and linguistic gymnastics in all of sports and to celebrate the birth of this new modern classic, we assembled nine real PGA Tournament names from over the years with nine we totally made up on the spot. Think you can spot the difference? Go on and hit us with your best shot.
ANSWER KEY AT BOTTOM (DO NOT CHEAT, WE WILL FIND OUT AND WE WILL PUBLICLY SHAME YOU
1. CJ Cup @ Nine Bridges
2. A Military Tribute at The Greenbrier
3. Chili’s #WhereBusinessHappens Matchplay
4. PODS Championship
5. Los Hermanos Albuquerque Cup
6. Wilfred Brimley Diabetes Awareness Shootout
7. Canon Sammy Davis Jr. Greater Hartford Open
8. Cadillac Eldorado Las Vegas Open Hosted By Dean Martin's Nephew Jeff
9. Booz Allen Classic
10. Windows 2000 Open
11. Kruger Industrial Smoothing Human Fund Invitational
12. Kaiser International Open Invitational
14. K-Mart Greater Greensboro Open
14. Greg Norman’s Shark Tank Par 3 Classic
15. Humana Challenge in Partnership With the Clinton Foundation
16. Ronco Showtime Rotisserie Set It and Forget It Pro-Am
17. National Car Rental Classic at Walt Disney World Resort
18. CinnaBon Jovi Celebrity Challenge
ANSWER KEY
1. CJ Cup @ Nine Bridges - Real
2. A Military Tribute at The Greenbrier - Real
3. Chili’s #WhereBusinessHappens Matchplay - Fake
4. PODS Championship - Real
5. Los Hermanos Albuquerque Cup - Fake
6. Wilfred Brimley Diabetes Awareness Shootout - Fake
7. Canon Sammy Davis Jr. Greater Hartford Open - Real
8. Cadillac Eldorado Las Vegas Open Hosted By Dean Martin’s Nephew Jeff - Fake
9. Booz Allen Classic - Real
10. Windows 2000 Open - Fake
11. Kruger Industrial Smoothing Human Fund Invitational - Fake
12. Kaiser International Open Invitational - Real
13. Greg Norman’s Shark Tank Par 3 Classic - Fake
14. K-Mart Greater Greensboro Open - Real
15. Humana Challenge in Partnership With the Clinton Foundation - Real
16. Ronco Showtime Rotisserie Set It and Forget It Pro-Am - Fake
17. National Car Rental Classic at Walt Disney World Resort - Real
18. CinnaBon Jovi Celebrity Challenge - Fake
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