John Carpenter would like to dispute Rotten Tomatoes' claim that he is, in fact, dead

John Carpenter has spent the better part of his career obsessed with death. From Halloween to The Thing, Carpenter built his legacy on the backs of psycho slashers, killer alien parasites, and expendable Kurt Russell cannon fodder. Despite what Rotten Tomatoes' social media crack squad would have you believe, however, being preoccupied with death doesn't put in you the ground...even if you did just complete your 70th trip around the sun.

Now in Rotten Tomatoes' defense, the poor associate social media editor whose innocuous Tuesday morning oversight just launched into the viral stratosphere like the Challenger Shuttle probably wasn't even born the last time Carpenter made a watchable film. Maybe they even Googled him and saw a graying old man jamming to moody synth rock on stages across America and thought weird, David Lynch is really losing his hair. But whatever the confusion, the fact is John Carpenter is very much alive. Just ask John Carpenter.

So kudos to the legendary director for taking this all in stride. He probably wanted to spend the day eating carrot cake while narrating Willie Mays highlights to his grandkids. Instead he had to wake up and defend his own existence on social media. That said, if anyone can appreciate a dose of grim, impending doom on their very own birthday, it's probably The Horror Master himself.