Week 5 was the first true whirlwind week of the 2021 college football season so far, and by whirlwind I mean I spent real American dollars on a ticket to the Ohio State-Rutgers game in Piscataway, N.J., thus missing out most of the great Saturday afternoon/evening CFB action. The moral of the story is this - never pay real American dollars to watch Rutgers play football (they lost 52-13 but the over hit so I made some of those real American dollars back).
Fortunately, social media does a good job of rounding up the best moments from another wild college football Saturday, one that featured Georgia and Alabama reminding everyone that it's them and everybody else, Michigan coming up with a statement win at Wisconsin, Cincinnati entering the playoff picture (seriously) and No. 3 Oregon going down at Stanford. Oh, and that whole Urban Meyer video, which is technically NFL-related now, though he was wearing his Ohio State quarter zip. Had he still been a college coach, whoever grabbed that thing on film would have been our college football star of the week going away. A young Spielberg, many people are saying.
As huge as the Cincy and Michigan wins were, the most impressive victory may have come from previously .500 Mississippi State, a team coming off back-to-back losses of three points or less to LSU and Memphis. The Bulldogs, lead by head coach Mike Leach, closed as a touchdown underdog at Texas A&M on Saturday night, and they wound up winning the game outright, 26-22. Perhaps the Aggies are frauds like they have and always will be under Jimbo Fisher, but it was still a wildly impressive road W for a team that could have very easily gone into a tailspin.
Even more impressive was ESPN sideline reporter Cole Cubelic somehow getting Leach to discuss his favorite Netflix shows during a classic Leach post-victory interview. After a big win, nobody talks quite like Leach does, thus making him our college football star of the week:
"Anything by the water that's got cool-looking trees and boats." That's a literal spot-on description of "Bloodline," and my guess is it's also a spot-on description of "Outer Banks," though I've never watched an episode and don't plan to. Then again, if it's good enough for Leach, it's good enough for all of us.
Helmet Stickers
(In this section, we'll dole out helmet stickers for those who just missed the cut on "star of the week.")
The Boise State streaker
No matter how hard the broadcast tries to avoid it, there is nothing more electric than a good streaker at a sporting event. Case in point, this kid from Boise State, who avoided not one, not two, but EIGHT would-be tacklers before finally getting caught at midfield by ... the referee?
So, so close to breaking completely free and reaching pay dirt. Almost a 10 out of 10 streak, but you simply cannot get caught by the ref. Five helmet stickers for both the streaker and the zebra on this one.
Waka Flocka Flame
How does Waka Flocka Flame appear in a college football round-up article? By storming the field with the students of Kentucky after a massive home dub against hated Florida:
Seemingly random? Yes. However, it's quite the opposite. One of Waka Flocka Flame's songs "Grove Street Party" has become increasingly popular among Wildcat fans, and you can hear it playing during the celebration. Kentucky is now 5-0, by the way, with two monster games against LSU and at Georgia coming up. With Waka Flocka in their corner though, you have to like their chances. Four helmet stickers for Waka Flocka.
The Michigan sideline
As Wisconsin fans came to find out on Saturday, there is nothing worse than being emasculated on your home field. The thing is, though, it was still a 20-10 game heading into the fourth quarter, the perfect time to play "Jump Around" at Camp Randall, get the crowd involved and hype up the Badgers sideline.
Or, the Michigan sideline could completely hijack the moment and hype themselves up, then go on an 18-7 fourth quarter run. This is like watching somebody steal your girlfriend and there's nothing you can do about it:
True lyrical genius behind the camera there, eh? That's beside the point, though. This is just such a tough spot if you're a Badgers fan. You're trying to enjoy your weekly fall tradition and one of your hated rivals not only steals it but then backs it up by dusting you in the fourth quarter. There is no coming back from that. They won't do it, but Wisconsin might have to cancel "Jump Around," at least for the rest of this season. Three helmet stickers to the Wolverines sideline, negative one billion to the cameraman who doesn't know the words to the classic song.
Wedding streamer guy
If you get married on a college football Saturday in the fall, you're pretty much asking for this right here:
As someone who has done this before (it was a FAU-UCF game, I remember it vividly), I respect the hell out of this move. Kudos to this guy for being somewhat discreet about it, too. Two helmet stickers.
Lane Kiffin
Let's be honest, win or lose, the Lane train is still operating full steam ahead. Getcha popcorn ready***
***for the rest of the year. Please ignore what happened Saturday after this mic drop.
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