Monkey delivers game ball for Japanese soccer match, gets standing ovation obviously

Why Non-American Sports Are More Fun, Vol. 658, Art. 7,029: Because other nations and their respective leagues do things like this and this and invite actual living, breathing monkeys to deliver ceremonial game balls like they’re pop stars, which now that you mention it, who knows, maybe they are.

In case you’re wondering about the context here, how very western of you, but fine, let's indulge. On Sunday, this little macaque took to the pitch of a J-League game between Cerezo Osaka and Vissel Kobe, showed off his tekkers, handed the ball to ref, and was promptly applauded like the second coming of Pele. Who, what, why, and how remain mostly a mystery, but hey, welcome to the internet, where you take your cute animal video, say thank you, and be glad you don’t have to think about your own mortality for like five seconds. [Insert cute monkey emoji here].