Pepsi Max. Baja Blast. Red Bull. Monster. Rockstar. Grande. Venti. Trenta. Red Eye. Black Eye. Green Eye. Four Loko. Sparks. Tilt. All really good ways to get the blood pumping, pupils dilated, and hands shaking. But what if we told you there was another (legal) way to kickstart your heart? What if we told you it didn’t involve slurping down a pot of diner joe before hopping back in the car? What if we told you that thing was Piedmont baseball? SOUND UP.
Those are the dulcet sounds of Piedmont Lions announcer Brett Loftis calling the team’s odds-defying seven-run comeback against Methodist this weekend. In the bottom of the 10th inning with two men on and the game tied at nine, Carter Ballstadt (great baseball name, btw), stepped to the plate and delivered a seeing-eye single to left field. The lead runner rounded third and came home. There was a play at the plate. The stadium held its breath. The umpire waited. The dust settled. SAFE! Ballgame over, party underway.
As thrilling as the pure baseball of it was, however, it was nothing compared to Loftis’ larynx shredding, mic-clipping call, which will go down in the annals of DIII baseball forever. There’s obviously the instant-classic quartet of “LIONS WIN! LIONS WIN! LIONS WIN! LIONS WIN!” but there’s also “MILK JUG MAGIC!,” “THE BEST PLAYER IN DIII BASEBALL!,” and a whole heap of other goodies, delivered at the maximum decibel level of the human vocal chords, to enjoy. But like any good play-by-play guy—from Vin Scully to Jim Nantz—Loftis saved the best for last:
“WHERE ELSE WOULD YOU RATHER BE!? GOODNESS GRACIOUS ALIVE!”
Goodness gracious, indeed.
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