Welcome to another edition of The Grind, where we guess our invitation to Spring Break 2016 got lost in the mail. It’s OK, guys, I had a lot of yard work to do anyway. But seriously, I'm rusty when it comes to spring break trips, but I could bring a lot to the table. I know the best way to smuggle booze into a foreign country (shampoo bottles) to cut down on costs and I might know someone who could hook us up with a sweet room that comes with an extra couple of cots. Oh. Right. You guys are all rich tour pros and don’t need that kind of help. Hmm. Well, um, I love doing announcer impressions while playing golf. You could always use more of that, right?
Meanwhile, I could use less of these weeds in my lawn. Please, guys, take me with you next time. But while #SB2K16 consumed everyone’s attention last week, there were a bunch of other things going on. Let’s discuss.
WE'RE BUYING
Charley Hoffman: On Saturday, Hoffman hit one of the worst shots you’ll ever see from a pro. On Sunday, he stroked one of the most clutch putts we’ve seen all season to win the Valero Texas Open. “It’s about time!” Hoffman could be seen saying after the putt dropped to finally give him a fourth career PGA Tour title after a string of close calls. We’re big fans of Hoffman’s because he did an interview from a port-o-potty earlier in the season:
And we can’t get enough of these Dumb and Dumber memes:
Tiger Woods: We still don’t know when Woods is coming back (this “no timetable” thing is getting frustrating), but at least we know he’s coming back. Woods put his swing on public display twice, first at a junior clinic and then again at the opening of his Bluejack National course. And there doesn’t seem to be any holding back in his driver swing:
Yeah, yeah, that’s a funky follow-through, but he supposedly found the middle of the fairway. We’ll take it.
#SB2K16: This was awesome. And for the most part, everyone agreed that this was awesome, which was also awesome. Four young PGA Tour stars getting away from the grind of pro golf for a few days and living it up? Why not? Thanks, guys, for letting us all live vicariously through you.
It’s funny, though, that they still wound up spending most of the days on a golf course. . .
The Pillers: Lost in the craziness of #SB2K16, Tiger, and Jeff Daniels Charley Hoffman winning, was golf’s best husband-wife combo. Both Martin and Gerina finished in the top five on their respective tours. Quite an accomplishment, especially since it was Martin’s first top-10 finish in a PGA Tour event. The couple also stars in this great new commercial:
WE'RE SELLING
Rory McIlroy: No one had a bigger case of FOMO than McIlroy, who shared a text to Rickie Fowler that showed him turning down an invite to #SB2K16. Ouch. Of course, if you read the full exchange, you see that Rory went to Barbados with his fiancé instead.
So it’s not like he was stuck at home doing, oh, I don’t know, YARD WORK.
Olympic dropouts: I’m not criticizing the dropouts themselves, just that they’re happening. It’s unfortunate for the event that five (and counting) big names, headlined by Adam Scott, have already dropped out, but I can’t blame them – especially when I backed out of going myself. Using a packed schedule as an excuse is pretty lame, but the Zika virus is no joke, people.
Caddies: We get talked into believing experienced caddies are crucial to a tour pro’s success. And then, something like this happens. Thanks to a surprise tweet, Callaway Golf’s social media manager Chad Coleman filled in as Wesley Bryan’s caddie on the Web.com Tour last week. And all Bryan did was break the tournament scoring record.
Derek Jeter’s “hole-in-one”: This has to be fake, right? Just look at the caption from his sister! And those watching could have done a much better job coordinating their reaction. . .
But the real giveaway? There’s no way Derek Jeter would be that excited to win a car.
ON TAP
The PGA Tour heads to New Orleans for the Zurich Classic, aka that place where John Peterson dealt with a gator to keep play moving.
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