Buzzkills. Joykills. Debbie downers. Wet blankets. Squares. Society has coined many names for fun agnostics over the centuries, but no matter what you call them, the defining characteristic remains the same: An almost sadistic pleasure in other people’s unhappiness driven by the inability to find happiness of their own. But don’t take our pop-psych diagnosis at face value. Just check out this now-viral clip of a Wrigley Field usher toppling an epic beer-cup pyramid at Thursday night’s Cubs game.
This guy’s idea of a good time is taking a number at the DMV. He balances his checkbook for fun (yes, he still has a checkbook) and his turn-ons include flossing and salads for dinner. Which, hey, whatever floats your boat, pal. But to double knot your New Balances, hike up your khakis, step out into public, and force your twisted way of life on others, well, that’s just plain wrong.
RELATED: This Yankees fan chugging beer out of his walking boot is patient zero of the next pandemic
Plus Cubs fans could use all the joy they can possibly scrounge up at the moment. After a brief flirtation with glory in the 20-teens, the Cubbies have plunged back into ineptitude. Gone are Joe Maddon and Theo Epstein and most of the other Cubs’ cursebreakers, replaced by a rebuild that doesn’t seem to be building toward anything. We’re not saying we’ll have to wait until 2124 for the next Cubs World Series—hell, the world will probably be ash by then—but let the fans have their harmless little beer towers in the meantime. It’s literally the least you can do.
The best of Golf Digest delivered daily
Sign UpWill be used in accordance with our PRIVACY POLICY